110+ Funny Jokes in English: Short, Clean & Seriously Funny
Looking for funny jokes that actually make people laugh, not just politely smile? This collection has short jokes, seriously funny jokes, one-liners and jokes about school, doctors, technology and everyday life, all in simple English and all clean enough to share anywhere.
Each joke has a hidden punchline, so read the setup, take a guess and tap Show answer. Found a favourite? Copy it to the group chat or share it on WhatsApp in one tap.
On this page
1Short Funny Jokes
Two lines, one laugh.
Why did the student throw the clock out of the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
What do you call a bear in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why did the smartphone need glasses?
It lost all its contacts.
Why was the broom late for work?
It swept in.
What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A watch dog.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
What has hands but can't clap?
A clock.
Why don't mountains get cold?
They wear snowcaps.
What's the laziest mountain in the world?
Mount Ever-rest.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, bud!
What do you call a cow that plays an instrument?
A moo-sician.
Why did the pencil go to bed early?
It was feeling a little dull.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
Why did the man run around his bed?
To catch up on his sleep.
2Seriously Funny Jokes
The ones that get real laughs, not just groans.
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
Why did the invisible man get rejected from the party?
Nobody could see him coming.
I asked my computer for a joke about Wi-Fi.
It said the connection wasn't strong enough.
Why don't skeletons go trick-or-treating?
They have no body to go with.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday.
Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
Why don't secrets last at a farm?
The potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
What do you call a group of disorganized cats?
A cat-astrophe.
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
I told my plants a joke.
They didn't laugh, but they're growing on me.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
3Funny One-Liners
Short setups with a twist at the end.
I tried to write a joke about the past tense.
It was too tense.
I have a joke about trickle-down economics.
But 99 percent of you will never get it.
I told my suitcase there will be no vacation this year.
Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
I used to be a banker,
but I lost interest.
My bank called about my savings account.
Apparently it's not a joke.
I'm great at multitasking.
I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate all at once.
I'm not lazy,
I'm just very relaxed.
I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
Light travels faster than sound.
That's why some people appear bright until they speak.
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's a little cheesy.
The early bird might get the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
4Teacher & Student Jokes
Classroom classics for students, teachers and parents.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign that says "School ahead, go slow."
Teacher: If I have 5 apples in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?
Student: Very big hands.
Teacher: Did you miss school yesterday?
Student: Not really.
Teacher: Name two days that start with T.
Student: Today and tomorrow.
Teacher: Why is your homework in your dad's handwriting?
Student: I used his pen.
Teacher: Where is the English Channel?
Student: I don't know, we don't have that on our TV.
Why was the student's report card wet?
Because it was below C level.
Teacher: What's the chemical formula for water?
Student: H I J K L M N O. You said it was H to O.
Teacher: Can you spell "fruit"?
Student: Sure. A, P, P, L, E.
Teacher: Why are you doing your homework on the floor?
Student: You told us to do it without tables.
Teacher: What is the plural of baby?
Student: Twins.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright.
5Doctor Jokes
Laughter is the best medicine (please still see a real doctor).
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a deck of cards.
Doctor: Sit down, I'll deal with you later.
Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.
Doctor: Who said that?
Patient: Doctor, I think I'm a moth.
Doctor: So why did you come here? Patient: The light was on.
Patient: Doctor, I've broken my arm in two places.
Doctor: Then don't go to those places.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Doctor: Pull yourself together.
Why did the doctor carry a red pen?
In case she needed to draw blood.
Patient: Doctor, people keep ignoring me.
Doctor: Next, please.
Patient: Doctor, I think I'm a bell.
Doctor: Take these and if they don't work, give me a ring.
6Technology & Internet Jokes
For coders, gamers and people who live online.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus.
Why did the Wi-Fi and the laptop get married?
They had a strong connection.
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs.
How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screenshots.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What's a computer's favourite snack?
Microchips.
Why did the robot go on vacation?
It needed to recharge its batteries.
Why was the computer tired when it got home?
It had a hard drive.
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
Why did the gamer bring a broom?
To sweep the competition.
7Funny Jokes for Friends
Send these to the group chat and watch the replies roll in.
Why don't friends play hide and seek with mountains?
Because mountains always peak.
What do you call two friends who love math?
Algebros.
Why did my friend sit on his watch?
He wanted to be on time.
Why do best friends make great detectives?
They always find the snacks.
What did one friend say to the other at the bakery?
We're the best of buns.
What do you call a friend who always borrows money?
A loan ranger.
What did the pizza say to its best friend?
You're a pizza my heart.
Why is my friend so good at keeping secrets?
He never listens in the first place.
8Funny Family Jokes
For the family WhatsApp group (yes, even the uncles).
Mom: Why is your room so messy?
Me: It's not messy, it's a creative workspace.
Dad: I'm on a diet.
Also Dad: This samosa doesn't count, it's a vegetable.
Why did the kid sit on the clock?
Mom said to be on time.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where's pop corn?
Grandpa: In my day we walked 10 miles to school.
Me: Why didn't you just leave earlier?
Mom: Who ate all the cookies?
Me: Define "all".
Why did the dad bring a ladder to the dinner table?
He heard the food was on the house.
Why are families like fudge?
Mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
Uncle: When are you getting married?
Me: When are you getting a new question?
Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair?
She wanted to rock and roll.
9Funny Office Jokes
For coworkers, meetings and Monday mornings.
Why did the employee bring a ladder to work?
He heard the company was taking things to the next level.
What's the best thing about Mondays?
They're only once a week.
Why don't meetings ever end on time?
Because someone always has "one quick question".
Why did the spreadsheet go to therapy?
It had too many issues to sort.
What's an office worker's favourite exercise?
Running late.
My boss asked why I'm always tired.
I said, "Because I work so hard at looking busy."
Why was the office so cold?
Too many fans of the boss.
What do you call a meeting that could have been an email?
Most meetings.
Why did the printer break up with the computer?
It felt like it was always being used.
What's the hardest part about working from home?
Pretending the kitchen isn't right there.
10Everyday Life Jokes
Funny because they're true.
Why did the man put his car in the oven?
He wanted a hot rod.
What do you call a sleeping alarm clock?
Useless.
Why did the fridge win every argument?
It always kept its cool.
What did the shoe say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll follow on foot.
Why did the bread go to therapy?
It felt too kneaded.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
Why did the sofa join the gym?
It wanted to work on its cushions.
What do you call a man who can't stand?
Neil.
Why did the clock get detention?
It tocked too much.
What's harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath.
How to Tell a Joke People Actually Laugh At
- Know the punchline by heart: nothing kills a joke like "wait, how does it end?"
- Keep the setup short: fewer words means a faster, bigger laugh.
- Pause before the punchline: a beat of silence builds anticipation.
- Read the room: pick jokes your audience will relate to, like school jokes for students.
- Don't explain it: if it doesn't land, move on to the next one.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are some funny jokes with answers?
Try "Why did the student throw the clock out of the window? He wanted to see time fly" or "What has hands but can't clap? A clock."
What is a good short joke in English?
"What do you call a fly without wings? A walk." Short jokes like this are easy to remember and work for all ages.
How do you make jokes that are funny?
Use surprise. Set up an expectation, then flip it with wordplay or an unexpected answer, and keep the setup as short as possible.
What's a funny line to say to friends?
One-liners like "I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed" or "The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese" always get a reaction.
Want more? Read our dad jokes and corny jokes, share jokes for kids, laugh at jokes in Hindi and Urdu lateefay, or get a surprise from the random joke generator.
